say what...I AM

es⋅o⋅ter⋅ic  [es-uh-ter-ik] adjective
- understood by or meant for only the select few who have special knowledge or interest; recondite: poetry full of esoteric allusions.
- belonging to the select few.
- private; secret; confidential.

JACK IT


em . in . i = it's JUST WORDS

HOPE BLUE. FRENCH BLUE. TAVERNIER BLUE = HOPE DIAMOND


I have this little saying... I'll warn you it's pretty egotistical... when I feel/know I'm better than another female that a male "friend" of mine shows interest in ... "You can GIVE HER the HOPE DIAMOND" and she still WON'T BE ME!"... A couple of days ago I wanted to use this statement but I couldn't even bring myself to validate the use... 1: I don't LOVE HIM 2: I CAN NOT give HIM what HE WANTS...(I can provide what he NEEDS) 3: I'm just at a point in life where I really am concentrating my energy on only MY PRIORITIES... so yeah my EGO is bruised .... felt like a lost ... and HONESTly I FEEL DISRESPECTED by my "FRIEND" ... lonnnnnng unnecessary story that will just further prove my point of I can't provide his WANTS... so this morning I was laying in bed waiting on my morning word from JOEL OSTEEN ... FOX NEWS Sunday ... I had bored from hearing about the ACORN scandals and attempted to turn over and catch a few more zzz's ... transition to commercial the host " we are going to take an intimate look at THE HOPE DIAMOND"... GOD WAS TALKING DIRECTLY TO ME... I LISTENED... HE DIDN'T/DOESN'T BELONG TO ME... and I DID NOT LOSE!... :)

SENIOR ME= MI MADRE CARpus




Mi Madre BORNDAY premium = only my CARpus is lonely
... HERMES is calling me

NO PASSengers ON MY PLANE

Maison Martin Margiela= Airplane Pin

tHE REVIEW: YO JOE



I finally caught GI JOE with some of my co-workers last weekend. My simple review is… ENJOY the film for what it is… the gadget stuff became overkill (even though I love me some movies with thingamajigs)… which kept the story grounded in comic book land. I was SURPRISED by the size of the role Wayans played in relation to how DISAPPOINTED I was in the small role Tyrese had in Transformers but I will digress… after I say… I think the two should have swapped film roles… cool kick back entertainment … only one thing was missing… MY GI JOE… salute to the soldiers!

em . in . i = WEEK END reVIEW

VISTed wIth PARENTals

FRESH REstart

WOODen HangERs. kleenex w/LOTION.
3in 1 REfills. cavities for the TWEENS.

LUNCH BREAK = THROW IT IN THE BAG

FRESH until dEATh

em . in . i = I have no goals... but many desires

Tuxxedo: I never said I had a "bad" shoe game
get ready for a lot of randomness...

Definitively it doesn't matter to me one way or another if I get married or not... because at this point in life I can say that I BELIEVE in GOD's preDETERMINED WILL... if there is a life mate for me in this world ... then there is a life mate for me in this world... and our interactions will be as such as predetermined...

What perplexes me however is the humanistic values (don't ask me what that means lol) It doesn't matter what situation I put myself into (and I'm sure many will initially argue me down)... but if I go out to the club, stay in the house, or sign up for a dating website... it can not change what will be... it's like in vitro fertilization... you can disturb nature however you want... duplicate and multiply... but you can not avoid the predetermined aspect of death... you can prolong it... you can create events to incite onset ... but you cannot avoid the predetermined outcome of death


The greatest pain for me is the natural human needs ... I'm not science savvy but what scientist would prob label the chemical balance of attraction yadda yadda... the emotional need, the physical need, which I must take credit for strengthening by opening myself to those experiences... all though they were predetermined...


When I reflect I can see that the relationships I have had with the opposite sex are very valuable... although few and far between it's like God allowed me to experience a taste of different things only to plant the desire for them and the respect for them in an ideal future...I can't tell you what love feels like... but if it's half of what I glimpsed... it's quite powerful and shouldn't be experienced in the random.


All of this to say I read a good blog by a young male and his "thought" process about love and the idea of it made me smile... to know someone else is deeply thinking is quite inspiring!


P.S. Personal reasons why I don't think I'm "ready"... I have no goals... but many desires... I've set no promise... but many requirements... all though I know I will never be complete on this earth... I'm not quite sure that the me I am giving ... is at the point that it can fully be an asset to another in a romantic relationship situation... I do have a lot of things to share etc... but I feel my "self" is just not quite ready yet and I'm not talking in the superficial I still need to buy my loft type of way lol...